Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I look better un-naked...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
