I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Non-Jews are for practice
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
