I'm drive I can fine osifer
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
