I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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