He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
