i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
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I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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