I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
