Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
