Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
