Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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