Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
either way he was missing a nipple.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Randomize
