I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize