He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Found your dick twin last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize