Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
