i already hear my dad disowning me
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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