Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
