Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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