My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
