why didn't you poke me back
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got inside last night via doggy door
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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