we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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