took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize