i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
