We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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