Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
