I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
