i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
