the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize