You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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