I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
