so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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