Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
