Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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