forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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