Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
