Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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