Got a toothbrush?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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