Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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