We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
