so that wasnt chicken after all
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
