i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
