Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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