can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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