I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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