i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
