He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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