She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
