I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
