So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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