I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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