Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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