Can Purell be used as lube?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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