i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
