he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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