I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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