eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
