so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
