Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
