it was like his penis was on wheels.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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